So it is late and I need to go bed but I am having a rough night..... I went and saw Ryan's dad's band play tonight, The Fabulous Chancellors and can I say, they were quiet fabulous this evening!! It was fun to get dressed up and go out. It is not often I get to wear heels and a nice outfit, so I jumped at the occasion (the free tickets help too!) It was just hard though seeing Ryan's dad. He warms my heart whenever I see him and I am not even sure why. I was emotional to begin with just due to the fact that this would normally be something Ryan and I would go do together. We really enjoy going to his dad's "gigs" and so do the kids. So as I walk in and see Ryan's dad, I lost it. Tears right there in the middle of all these people who have no clue who I am or why the heck I am crying. Crazy lady alert!! It is just hard knowing the love that that man has for his son. A love that I have never seen before. It is more than a father-son type of love. It is a spiritual kind of love that these two men have made over the years. There have been rough times but I believe it has made that bond grow stronger. My husband is his fathers son. He has a love for his children that amazes me, a love that he has learned from his father. It it hard to drudge through day after day without that love in our home. It is hard to have your hero, the person you look up to and cherish, gone and I can see that in my son's eyes. I continue to do my best everyday for our kids but sometimes seeing the person who has made my husband the amazing, wonderful, kind person he is......... reminds me of what I am missing.
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